The root of all happiness
I have the answer. And I’m going to tell you.
Is there a secret to happiness? No, there isn’t. It is not a secret. It is easily perceived and lacking in subtlety. However, there is a sophisticated campaign of disinformation to try to hide what is right in front of our eyes.
Never mind the emperor not wearing clothes. Our emperors are telling us they have great clothes, homes, and lives filled with luxury and opportunity. But somehow, experiencing these things would leave us feeling naked? Give me a break. I was born, it just wasn’t yesterday.
My two pennies' worth
Contrary to what you might have heard, money does bring you happiness. This may not be the answer you like, but that doesn’t make it any less accurate. It turns out Abba were right all along - it is always sunny in the rich man’s world.
Given the choice between being rich or being happy, most people would pick being happy. Actually, the choice is an oxymoron and you may as well take the cash. Sure, I will concede - you can be poor and happy, but you will not be rich and miserable.
Maybe you are thinking I’m the oxy-moron. But I really don’t think I am. If I ever make it to the Emerald City I’m just going to ask the wizard for a bank transfer. Never mind a brain, a heart or bravery. I won’t need those when I’m stinking rich.
Of course, lots of other things might bring you joy. But nothing can match the opportunities and excitement money allows. It is like how Buddhists talk about the direct path of self-awakening, bypassing gurus, churches and institutions. Likewise the direct path of happiness bypasses hard work, fairness and ultimately, the deserving.
Keeping up with the Jefferson’s
Here is how I know money would bring me happiness: rich people have the same information as us. They know money is not meant to bring them happiness. But strangely, they aren’t giving it up. Instead, they go further - employing teams of accountants to cheat the system and give as little back as possible.
Sure, I’ve read those studies showing optimum levels of happiness are hit once you’ve reached the salary level of an assistant manager in Aldi. I’m very dubious. Am I seriously to believe these people’s quality of life and wellbeing wouldn’t be improved with an increased salary? Should they ignore the job offer from Tesco? Seems mad. Every little helps, no?
Just pause for a second and think about it: why wouldn’t a boatload of money make you happy? I suggest it would. Go on, let the dark side wash over you. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
Give me a couple million quid and come back in a year. Far from what the naysayer’s picture – a chaotic life filled with opulence, addiction, and depression – I’d be the happiest, healthiest and most content I’ve ever been. So would everyone I know. Why wouldn’t they be?
They may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom?
What is true freedom? And doesn’t money offer it?
Let’s look at the land of the free and home of the brave - those guys love a bit of freedom. The Declaration of Independence gives three examples of unalienable rights – ‘Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness’.
Life – the wealthiest people in our society live on average about 20 years longer than the poorest
Liberty – this is simply having the power and scope to do what one pleases. There can be no greater key to this than dollar bills y’all
The pursuit of happiness – it seems to me, the way our society is set up, most of us have been encouraged to move away from the pursuit of happiness and to settle for the happiness of pursuit
A case study in freedom: Research now shows the best way to help homeless people is to give them free cash, with no strings attached. Most of these people end up moving into stable housing and save enough to maintain financial security. As the historian Rutger Bregman put it: “Poverty isn’t a lack of character, it’s a lack of cash”.
State your purpose
There are two arguments I often hear against being wealthy: 1) You will lose out on that all important meaning and purpose in your life that we all need, and 2) You would get bored.
Firstly, this assumes I’m currently living a life with meaning and purpose. Anyway, there is no meaning to life, in the same way there is no meaning to death or any life stage. We just exist. Get over yourself.
As for purpose – I assume most people mean through work. Well, everyone can’t enjoy their jobs or have it be their calling in life. Toilets still need to be cleaned. And if that is your calling, you got dealt a bum deal.
Do I really need to be setting goals forever? What about when I’m retired? Or in my 90s? Does it ever end? I need a to-do list in my free time now too?
As for boredom: Frankly, I can’t believe anyone would get bored. Get an imagination and a Netflix subscription. I think these people just find the idea of living a life without structure, in a haphazard manner, distasteful. But I know right now, as a 36 year old, I will die having not visited all the countries, read all the books or taken revenge on all the people I would like to.
Ain’t about the, yeah, b-bling b-bling
We are living in a materialist world but I am not a materialist girl. Even now as a man in his mid-thirties I could quite easily pack up my entire life into a couple of bags.
I consider myself a minimalist. Not the type you often see highlighted in the paper – some Japanese dude who sleeps on the floor and whose entire possessions consist of a fork, a tin opener and some bog roll. No, that is not for me. I want enough cutlery to have guests. If that makes me a diva, so be it.
Perhaps I’m not spot on, or on the money if you will. Wealth alone may not bring me the happiness I strongly believe it would. But I argue, as a bare minimum, it is an insurance against unhappiness.
Can money get you a partner, or better friends? Maybe. But can money make you forget Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? No, unfortunately not. Nothing is that powerful. Once you have seen the fridge scene, you cannot unsee it.
I’m just sick of having to think about money, or more precisely my lack of it. I’d love to remove the ever present existential dread. You know the one. That sinking feeling when you hear of some cost you hadn’t planned for: The nursery fees are going up to WHAT? The garage are charging HOW MUCH for the repairs? THIS is our water bill? And we are absolutely sure we need water?
Please sir, I want some more
Maybe I am being unrealistic. We can’t all be millionaires.
I feel trapped in a classic catch-22. While I do desperately want the money, I can’t stomach the thought of working long hours with awful people to get it.
I also don’t think endlessly acquiring wealth brings with it additional happiness. The equation is simple – do you have enough money to never have to worry about getting more? If so, you have reached peak happiness.
This is part of why I can’t understand the mega rich. Many of these maniacs continue working ludicrous hours, giving themselves less time to enjoy their wealth. What is going on? Maybe it’s like Smash Mouth said about these all-stars: “Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb”.
Greed is not good
The American dream is just that, a dream. For a system to allow people to get ahead, some people must be left behind. I don’t care for this system. It is cruel and unnecessary. I guess we can’t all clap along and fell like a room without a roof.
Right now 2,000 billionaires have more money than 5 billion people combined, and the top 0.1% of the world’s richest individuals now hold 11% of the world’s wealth. Hold is definitely the right word. Trickle-down economics doesn’t work. These people just hoard what they have. They can’t be trusted. Their drug of choice is ostentatious bullshit. It’s like they only take advice from Chief Brody in Jaws: “You’re gonna need a bigger boat”
They are not even asking for the earth anymore. They have already taken that. Now they are off to fuck up space too.
That one really irks me. Why does Bezos get to go before me? Ok, I get it – the $188 Billion, yeah yeah. But he’s pissing off while his overworked warehouse employees piss into bottles. That can’t be right. He hasn’t even graduated from Starfleet Academy.
And don’t get me started on the horseshit of philanthropy. Who is Bill Gates to say Bill Gates is best placed to solve the climate crisis? And why is he saying it from his private jet?
Their need for greed is endless. They sound as deranged as my 2 year old son when I ask him what flavour of ice-cream he wants:
Me: “What ice-cream would you like?”
The boy: “Daddy, I want…I want…I want…big, massive, gigantic ice-cream, so many ice-creams”
Me: “Cornetto, got it”
What is the life of the super-rich even like? How far removed from reality are they? Does Elon Musk have a fantasy football team? Does Larry Page have a Tesco clubcard? Has the Queen ever had a pint in wetherspoons? Maybe not. She’s more a silver spoon gal as I understand it.
These people haven’t worked for that money. Nobody can ‘earn’ that. They aren’t special. Yet somehow this has become what we perceive to be normal?
I say we have a vote. This is a democracy after all.
We can start at the top and work down the list:
Pay ratios – no more bosses making 20x the income of the people actually doing the work
Universal basic income – free cash for everyone, with no strings attached
A wealth tax - let’s just take it from the bastards
Happy days
I’m a lucky guy. If I ever hit rock bottom I know I could rely on my family and friends to support me. Plus, it’ll make for a wonderful blog.
But everyone isn’t that lucky, and inequality is skyrocketing. As a society we’ve made so many advancements, but sadly, as the celebrated novelist Maraget Atwood put it: “Better never means better for everyone”.
It’s not too late. We havn’t jumped the shark yet. We’ve just got to make things a bit fairer. We can all live richer lives. After all, these happy days are yours and mine.